Pyaar Kya Hai?

Eons have passed. Sages and monks alike have successfully managed to answer that question. Yet, the answers don't satitate the curiosity of the human mind simply because some emotions if never experienced cease to have a meaning.

Why have I chosen to talk about the 'most talked' about theme in our lives? Well, I've been enveloped by it. Don't jump the gun. We'll peel the onion, one at a time. Also, while I am in the midst of typing this, 'Laal Ishq' plays in the bakcground. Talk about signs.

Let's talk about this phenomenon chronologically. When a child is born and as he/she grows up, love is something they aren't consciously aware of. The child needs the mother in the nascent stage and later both set of parents for a balanced upbringing. It's only in hindsight one realises the love their parents always had for them. That too when weighed in comparison to the outside world. The upbringing that comprises of (or not) care, concern, values and so much more encompassess the individual's personality. Then, puberty hits and desire completely immerses the senses, which then prevails until our time's up!

So, where exactly and at what point does one realise that love is an idea that transcends all other emotions? Now, there are endless explanations for that.

Let's address the practical aspect of it first. The irony is, love and practicality are parallel lines, always together but never converge. However, I want to cater to the rationals. We all have a need to be needed. Our parents of course never really grow tired of us (mostly) and would love to have us around constantly. What I am going to say next is controversial but also true for quite a few and that is- not all of us are comfortable with the idea of staying with our parents forever and to each their own.

Life doesn't follow any set patterns and rules apart from the eternal truth. However, when you're conditioned to believe that the circle of life suggets, you find a partner, the rationals will look for the best possible option. Weigh their pros and cons. The annals of history further reinstate that marriages have been mere contracts and a lucrative deal. The model has changed today but the blueprint remains the same. Come on! Don't be aghast! So, will this qualify as love? Well, No. It certainly qualifies as convenience and need. No judgements here for as long as two people align on the same idea.

Which now, brings me to the kind of love that seeks companionship. You want someone to share your life with. Make memories with. You come from a familial set up where offering support, listening and being there for one another is part of who you are. You tend to find someone who gives you, atleast, what you've grown up seeing only because you're willing to give back, that and so much more.

Then there is love that finds you. You might be the most pragmatic person to exist until you find someone who compels you to break all clichès and normas that inhabit your personality. It happens so effortlessly that who you were is something you no longer identify with. Love that transforms you and ignites your soul. Brings you a sense of calm that you may have never experieneced before. Do we call that love? Perhaps! Luck? Defnitely.

All this conjecture brings me to the final question. What is love? What is the hullabaloo about? Why can't people seem to have enough of it. Why does the world need it? Why are we all seeking it?

Let's shed some light on some of the most common definitions of love.

Love is Respect Oh it is! You must defintely have a high opinion for someone you love.

Love is Consistency Damn right it is! You can't love someone for a few days and un-love them on the remaining. It's more like music, there are indeed the low and high notes but it continues to reverberate.

Love is Honesty

Of course! Love must allow you to be completely yourself without an iota of hesitance.

Love is Friendship This doesn't need an explanation! Does it?

All these definitions of love are not universal. The language of love is not universal. How we perceive love is quite individual. Subconsciously, our idea of love depends on everything that we've seen, observed, imbibed in our lives. Also, our past lives. Therefore, there cannot be one definition of this four letter word.

Love is a contradiction.

It gives unparalleld happiness and oh! does it give us a fair share of suffering?

It's selfless yet self-consumed.

It's real and mystical.

It's powerful yet timid.

It's limitless yet demarcated.

Love is ethereal because its better than reality. Love is faith. Love only gives, and what it gets back is a mere bonus. Love never proves. It doesn't have to. It exists with such grace that it doesn't need validation, all it needs is space to bloom. It's rooted. It stays. Love keeps you afloat. It is the most unadulterated feeling for as long as you retain that purity in you as an individual. Love is a clear reflection of who you are. You set your own standards and those standards invariably manifest the love that you're seeking. Love isn't eager. It's tranquil. Its not everyone's cup of tea. It simply cannot be.The sun exists in all its glory, knowing that it will spread light no matter what. That IS Love. That's what is universal about this phenomenon.

My mentor says love is where ego ceases to exist. A simple definition but carries immense weight. Think about it!

My only wish is for people is to seek what they can offer. Love surrenders, but not so that it can be controlled but only so it can grow. Ask yourself- Are you deserving of that love? If not, can you grow deserving of it? If the answer is yes, then Love is all yours! Hold onto it.

That my friends, is all about love. Well, marriage is another side of the same coin! I will not dampen your spirits by talking about it now, maybe some other time! haha!